
Secret Doors, by Flickr user Fletcher and Lauren.
It’s time for another addition to the BackGarage library. And while I love to share books about designers and home decorating, beautiful books like Classic Herman Miller
, or the one I’ve been plugging lately, Pad: The Guide to Ultra-Living
, in truth there’s another type of book I highly favor: the 1970s how-to manual.
A while ago I wrote about The Avocado Pit Grower’s Indoor How To Book. A classic 70s home manual, the prose it contains is so compelling you could actually read it for pleasure, even if you had no interest in growing avocado trees. (People, you’ll notice, do this all the time with cook books, and it spawned a whole genre of writing known as the “food essay.”) Something happened in the 1980s that turned most how-to books onto style over substance, and this fantastic genre of illustrative manual fell by the wayside.
So whenever I find a book like this at the thrift store I buy it and treasure it — out-of-print and long-forgotten, they’re not books you’d otherwise ever come across. So I love to share them here on BackGarage.
Today’s classic: How to Hide Almost Anything
by David Krotz. This is a 1970s how-to manual in the classic sense, replete with paranoid hippie ramblings (note the title), cartoon nudity and Shakespeare quotes. The tag line is, “Come home, America. And find your treasures where you left them.” It is, as its title suggests, “the first and only handbook for everyone who has something to hide.”
But like the best of the 1970s how-to manuals, it’s more than an instructional text — it’s a Brautigan-esque love story, a free-to-be-you-and-me anti-government manifesto. It’s about the true essence of DIY: not giving a fuck what others think and, if it damn well suits you, building a secret room into your apartment. (For further reading about hidden rooms, check out The Steampunk Home.)
These books got lost in the 1980s and the boom that followed it, but maybe now that we’re re-entering the Great Depression they somehow carry more weight. What once might have seemed quaint or funny now seems eerily apropo. Like this passage, from the intro to How to Hide:
It all began with poverty. My wife came in from the winter cold, clenching the morning bills in her hands, and I sat smoking cigarettes to the ends wondering how we were going to pay to keep that warm apartment around us. Outside the frosted glass, the weird and the gifted people of New York’s Greenwich Village wandered the angled streets; it was still the charming artists’ quarter, but I didn’t find my life there charming at the moment. For while the President’s haggard face spoke optimistic words on the tube, the economy got worse and worse — and I was out of work.
Krotz then goes on to instruct his readers on a number of different methods for hiding things within your living space: behind panels, in baseboards, by building a “door jam space,” in humped pipes and beams and “surreptitious sills.” Or behind a spice rack:
There are all kinds of spice rack arrangements. Handy people make their own. It can be a closed-in cabinet or just a long shelf on which a gamut of spices are readily accessible for creative cooking. Ordinarily, I’m in sympathy with doing things creatively instead of by rote or from mediocre example. Still, in the case of this particular hidey hole, you can easily use one of those commercially designed and constructed spice racks available in fine stores everywhere. If you’re one of those Americans who limits himself to salt and pepper and shuns the basil, oregano, and curry, it won’t hurt you to buy a ready-to-use spice rack and actually try the spices in different dishes. But before I succumb to the urge to include recipes, let’s look at the kind of spice rack you’ll need for constructing this secret little kitchen nook.
Now you tell me, what book currently available in the instructional section of a Barnes & Noble would take that type of liberty with its prose?
A highly recommended hardcover — see for yourself:
Check out this title and some of my other suggestions for good reading in the BackGarage Library.